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Does Your Boyfriend a Control Freak, or Are You Too Picky?

Lesson created by Alex Wise using

Video from Life Love Lessons YouTube Channel

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You meet a guy at a party who appears relatively normal. It could happen. He's got cool, non-felonious hobbies, a sense of humor and properly fitted pants. The trifecta. So you give up your number. He calls as scheduled. So far, so good.

Then it takes a left turn to Crazytown. He suggests a seafood restaurant. You mention your aversion to crustaceans. He's not pleased. He wants to pick you up; it's easier for you to just meet him there directly from work. Again, his response is not that of glee. 

You suggest maybe going to a movie after dining on something that came from the land. He gets bent out of shape, having hoped to revive Laser Tag as a socially acceptable date activity. What is going on here? 

Basically, there are two general scenarios at work. The first one is that he might feel like your alternate suggestions are a subtle diss on what he has chosen as the evening's activities. Try to think about it from his point of view -- the guy is probably a little nervous asking a stone-cold fox such as yourself out in the first place. Could the gagging noise you made when he suggested the seafood place possibly have been construed as negative?

 Maybe a gentler touch would be in order. Think about how you'd feel hearing what you're about to say. Take the tack of tact and do what your first-grade teacher taught you: Either say something nice or shut your yap. Loveawake relationship coach Alex Wise advises to "try and find something nice to say about the place, the food, the game, the show or the other people at the party. With a positive attitude, you can always find something good, even if you consider the situation pretty disastrous."

After you get to know one another a little better, there will be plenty of time for your patented sarcastic remarks, when you can both share in the cattiness and know that it's just a joke. Or next time, he can playfully make fun of you when you plan the date and choose to go see Carrot Top in concert.

The other scenario is that you've got yourself a bona fide control freak. If you've stated your legitimate concerns and creative and thoughtful alternative ideas in a respectful and polite way, and he's still chafed, it's on. Who needs this brand of petulance? Dump this guy before you end up as the inspiration for a Lifetime movie starring Tori Spelling.

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